Cute Little Story

Hey readers of our soon-to-be-hit comedy blog,

We haven't been posting because we spent all of that time coming up with the funniest story in deep space.

But...

This post is so funny, you'll want to send $10 USD to our Paypal to help support children in need! (link on right side)

So here is the first part of our "cute little story"!

  There once was a baby named Lil Wayne. He liked to sing lullabies to his mother. He was so intelligent he could sing at the age of 368 days. His mother  loved to listen to his lullabies. However, poor Lil Wayne could not rap for his life. One time, Lil Wayne saw his mother listening to rap music, so he asked his mom who she was listening to. She said that she was jamming out to Eminem. She was even reciting the lyrics "I murder a rhyme, one word at a time." On his third birthday, his mother gave him a purple snapback which stated his life goal in bright white. For those of you that are curious, the hat is posted below...

   One day, Lil Wayne and his mom went to a concert. An Eminem concert. His mom said to him "There will be many drugs. Alchohol included. But you cannot use any until you're 4! It feels too good for you" Lil Wayne was looking forward to this concert.


Stay tuned next week to see what happens at the concert!!

-The Comedy Bagels

Some Extreme Awesomeness

Check out this amazing article we found on the internet credit to (ussciencenews.com), 

anything written in italics are comments written by us, The Comedy Bagels!

A Chinese Man Calmly Walked Into A Hospital With A Knife Stuck Deep In His Skull(LIKE A BOSS!)

Pictures of a Chinese man with a knife in his head have gone viral.(I'd say he looks pretty happy...)

The man reportedly walked five flights of stairs to the doctor’s office after the knife was accidentally plunged into his skull while hanging out with friends.(Lol what kind of "friends" was he hanging out with)

Here’s the report:

The man with a fruit knife(must have been cutting a pineapple) pierced on his head was spotted going to see the doctor on his own in a major hospital in Yanji city, Jilin province in northeast China and has been since called by Chinese PEOPLE as a “Calm Brother” (淡定哥). After receiving corresponding treatment, the man is said to have been in stable condition.(Wow, he is a real BOSS!)

The knife missed the main blood vessels, and doctors were able to remove the blade without causing any ("significant") damage in a three-hour operation, according to the Daily Mail.

Here’s the reported X-ray:

And here’s another look at him waiting in the doctor’s office:

(What were the other people in the waiting room thinking?)

Just in case you were sleeping while reading the story, here is a brief summary of what happened. Some friends of a Chinese guy decided to play a prank on him by throwing a knife at him while he was taking a shit. Unfortunately, it struck him in the back of the head. He then walked 15 miles to the nearest hospital, where he had to wait in line for 2 and a half hours for the doctor to take a look at him. Then they yanked the blade out of his head and he turned out to be perfectly normal. THE END :) Share with your friends,family, and even pets!

Some Comical Quotes

Hi Guys,

Check out these cool quotes we came across! Make sure to share with your friends and family!



"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

 "There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

"How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’"

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher."

First News Story!

LOL guys! Check out this article(credit to upi.com):
Anything in italics are comments made by us and are not part of the original article

ROME, Dec. 6 -- Authorities in Rome said they were seeking a runaway elephant that escaped from a circus in the city Friday morning. Those clowns must have been torturing that poor thing...

Police said the elephant took a powder from the Amedeo Orfei circus(what are they going to do, arrest the elephant for robbery?), which has been in the city for about a week, and was last spotted late Friday morning near an exit ramp for the Grande Raccordo Anulare highway(he was taking the highway to Africa), which circles the city, ANSA reported Friday.

Details of the elephants escape were not immediately available. Actually we just didn't want to embarrass ourselves for not being able to locate the elephant.

Have a great weekend and comment any ideas about what you want us to post!

Swag Thursday!

Swag Comics today! S.W.A.G! Swag 4 monayz? Remember to donate!

More Swag right here!

A HILARIOUS YOU TUBE VIDEO

Hey viewers,

Watch this cool Youtube video we came across. Enjoy and be sure to share this with your friends and family!

Black Ice

                                        

Meme Wednesday!

Hello, and welcome to another Comedy Bagel post! Get ready for some funny stuff, coming straight from the guys who know comedy the best. Enough chit-chat, look at the memes below for a good laugh or two! Also, make sure to share this blog with your friends if you enjoy us!

MEME #1

MEME #2

If you didn't enjoy those memes, this is probably you:

Have a great Turkey Day everyone!