SCHOOL IS OUT!

Guess what all you mofo's?

School is now out and it it time to turn up!!

Be sure to check out "Mean tweets to celebrities" on youtube and enjoy your summer break!

#summer #here we go

Some Advice

Hey guys,


Are you ready for some more comedy? Well... hopefully you are, sooooo give us some ideas so we can come up with some awesome comedy..

Comment Below!

Disclaimer: This is requiring any living organism that is able to understand this post to donate to our charity. Paypal is accepted and welcomed. 


So for some comedy:

Why did the chicken get into a car?

Comment your answer below.

Time for the Stock Market

Hey little fuckers,

First of all, you haven't being telling your friends about our fucking awesome blog about comedy! After you finish reading this blog post, get up off your fat ass and go tell your whole fucking family about our blog or we will burn your nazi asses in hell!  If your relatives don't care about our blog, we advise you to tell them,"Fuck off, cunt nuggets!" Also, be sure to donate for the cause of saving lives all day everyday. 

So, we are here today to tell you about the stock market. First get some money to invest in the stock market. Make sure it is your whole life savings. After you have the cold hard cash in your hands, be sure donate half of it to us, then put the other half with a company such as Fidelity to invest your money . Once you got the $ money in the stock market, you invest in stocks you believe are going to do well. For example, some of my personal favorites are Dell and Nasdaq.

Thanks, and have a nice fucking weekend inside your room!

And make sure, when you're in a plane..

READ YOUR FUCKING SKYMALL!

-THE COMEDY BAGELS

Hysterical videos

Here are some videos to get you laughing:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6905768/why-cant-you-use-phones-on-planes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LGEiIL1__s

Enjoy and be sure to share this blog with your friends! Once we get some more viewers, we will start to post even funnier posts, so don't wait to share this with everyone you know!

-The Comedy Bagels

Pizza Prank

Hey guys and gals,

We were browsing the internet, when we came across this yahoo question... Well here it is...

Question: 

How much trouble can you get in for prank calling dominos?

Best Answer:

no 
not toomuch trouble at anyage 

unless they orderd like 500 pizzas 
i remember i did that once 

and had them deliverd to my friends house 
and he got blamed 
best weekedn ever

Happy snow day!

Cute Little Story

Hey readers of our soon-to-be-hit comedy blog,

We haven't been posting because we spent all of that time coming up with the funniest story in deep space.

But...

This post is so funny, you'll want to send $10 USD to our Paypal to help support children in need! (link on right side)

So here is the first part of our "cute little story"!

  There once was a baby named Lil Wayne. He liked to sing lullabies to his mother. He was so intelligent he could sing at the age of 368 days. His mother  loved to listen to his lullabies. However, poor Lil Wayne could not rap for his life. One time, Lil Wayne saw his mother listening to rap music, so he asked his mom who she was listening to. She said that she was jamming out to Eminem. She was even reciting the lyrics "I murder a rhyme, one word at a time." On his third birthday, his mother gave him a purple snapback which stated his life goal in bright white. For those of you that are curious, the hat is posted below...

   One day, Lil Wayne and his mom went to a concert. An Eminem concert. His mom said to him "There will be many drugs. Alchohol included. But you cannot use any until you're 4! It feels too good for you" Lil Wayne was looking forward to this concert.


Stay tuned next week to see what happens at the concert!!

-The Comedy Bagels

Some Extreme Awesomeness

Check out this amazing article we found on the internet credit to (ussciencenews.com), 

anything written in italics are comments written by us, The Comedy Bagels!

A Chinese Man Calmly Walked Into A Hospital With A Knife Stuck Deep In His Skull(LIKE A BOSS!)

Pictures of a Chinese man with a knife in his head have gone viral.(I'd say he looks pretty happy...)

The man reportedly walked five flights of stairs to the doctor’s office after the knife was accidentally plunged into his skull while hanging out with friends.(Lol what kind of "friends" was he hanging out with)

Here’s the report:

The man with a fruit knife(must have been cutting a pineapple) pierced on his head was spotted going to see the doctor on his own in a major hospital in Yanji city, Jilin province in northeast China and has been since called by Chinese PEOPLE as a “Calm Brother” (淡定哥). After receiving corresponding treatment, the man is said to have been in stable condition.(Wow, he is a real BOSS!)

The knife missed the main blood vessels, and doctors were able to remove the blade without causing any ("significant") damage in a three-hour operation, according to the Daily Mail.

Here’s the reported X-ray:

And here’s another look at him waiting in the doctor’s office:

(What were the other people in the waiting room thinking?)

Just in case you were sleeping while reading the story, here is a brief summary of what happened. Some friends of a Chinese guy decided to play a prank on him by throwing a knife at him while he was taking a shit. Unfortunately, it struck him in the back of the head. He then walked 15 miles to the nearest hospital, where he had to wait in line for 2 and a half hours for the doctor to take a look at him. Then they yanked the blade out of his head and he turned out to be perfectly normal. THE END :) Share with your friends,family, and even pets!