First of all, you haven't being telling your friends about our fucking awesome blog about comedy! After you finish reading this blog post, get up off your fat ass and go tell your whole fucking family about our blog or we will burn your nazi asses in hell! If your relatives don't care about our blog, we advise you to tell them,"Fuck off, cunt nuggets!" Also, be sure to donate for the cause of saving lives all day everyday.
So, we are here today to tell you about the stock market. First get some money to invest in the stock market. Make sure it is your whole life savings. After you have the cold hard cash in your hands, be sure donate half of it to us, then put the other half with a company such as Fidelity to invest your money . Once you got the $ money in the stock market, you invest in stocks you believe are going to do well. For example, some of my personal favorites are Dell and Nasdaq.
Thanks, and have a nice fucking weekend inside your room!
And make sure, when you're in a plane..
READ YOUR FUCKING SKYMALL!
-THE COMEDY BAGELS
